One tedious, exhausting, and unhappy day, I realized I had been waiting for someone to get me out of this mess.
I was hoping that some kind of golden permission slip would arrive that read, "I give you permission to stop doing what you hate right now, and go for what you want."
Do you ever feel like you're gritting your teeth and subconsciously waiting for the "okay" so you can finally do what you want with your precious life?
To walk out of the door and slam it behind you?
To say, "No, thanks! Not me!"
To hand in your resignation?
To leave it all behind?
To say, "Yes please, more delicious freedom, quiet, time, peace, passion, love, excitement or fun!"
To create that business, go back to school, change careers, or leave that mean-spirited partner?
And what’s holding you back?
Are you worried everybody will think you are crazy?
When I read about Martha Beck's concept of the "Everybody," I was stunned. We all have an "Everybody," and my "Everybody" is different than yours.
It's the "Everybody" that stops us from going for what we want by believing "If I do this, Everybody will think I am_______. Fill in the blank with "stupid, cray cray, irresponsible, selfish" or whatever else you are worrying about at 3 a.m.
The "Everybody" in our heads is often made up of people we know well. Our envious sister, our dismissive boss, our judgmental friend, and sometimes people we don't know at all or even people who are currently dead.
These five or six people form our very own finger-wagging, eye-rolling shame committee ready to knock us down from our pretty little pedestals. It's our Everybody.
When we are able to identify who these dream stealers are, the voice of the Everybody becomes a mere curiosity.
The truth is, Everybody is too busy worrying about what Everybody thinks to even pay any attention to Everybody else.
Martha suggests replacing the Everybody in our subconscious with a special group of loving people who support us, no matter what happens.
After all, if there are going to be invented voices in our heads, they may as well be a smiling crowd of supporters.
Funny enough, in my own life, all the people who I thought would disapprove of me and my big dreams came to me unprompted and said, "I think that's a good idea; why don't you do it?"
I then realized it was just me keeping myself from moving forward, and I had no one to blame or shame me, and I never really did. My Everybody was a mirage.
When they removed my brain tumor a couple of years ago, I seemed to have acquired some extra courage that comes with the “Life is short” recognition. This has made it much easier for me to write my own permission slips, not care what anyone thinks, and to help my clients do the same.
But I urge you not to wait for something terrifying and life-threatening to remind you that this life is yours to do with what you will.
Because once you start living in a way that you love, you will also be a much happier person to be around and I can pretty much guarantee Everybody, and most importantly you, yourself, will love you for it!
